A BIG THANK YOU!

I have been meaning to post this for a while but I always forget the list of WONDERFUL neighbors that provided us dinners for about 2.5 wks while Ian was in & out of the hospital. I honestly do not know what we would have done had it not been for the absolute kindness our neighbors bestowed upon us. If it were not for Julie, we would not have received any help. She was thoughtful enough to coordinate everything. To have the community we live in support us through everything was an AMAZING feeling. The pastor to our neighborhood church, Ed & his wonderful wife, gathered people to pray for Ian. We do not even belong to the church but because we walk by it every day, they know about the kids. God works miracles in time of need & healing!

Again, thank you to the following people...

Julie
Tom & Koy
Tammie
Robin
Kirby & Wendy
Joyce & Ronnie
Lyn
Jane, Steve, & Katie
Louise
Ed & Marion

From pureed foods to table foods

Ian had a follow up w/ Dr. N yesterday. He is doing remarkably better, her words. He is getting better. He is sitting on his own now for long periods of time, like 2-5 minutes. He has also learned how to "fall" back out of sitting to laying. For a while he would fall & his head would just hit the floor. Seems like he can now redirect himself as he is falling which is a very good thing.

An issue Dr. N wanted me to bring up to ECI is that when he stands (holding our fingers), he locks his knees & he won't budge! It is like he doesn't quite know how to tell his knees to unlock. As she was examining him yesterday, she tried to drag him forward which normally gets a baby to bend their knee but he wouldn't have it. He is like an IRON man, LOL! She & I worked together to get him to bend his knees. Seems like he needs a reminder that he can do this. I'll be sure to mention something to the PT coming out next week.

Otherwise, he is doing great! He gained almost a whole pound in just 3 wks! Here I was worried he wasn't getting enough milk while BFing, HA! He weighs 19 lb 2 oz. (8.6 kg). This means that Sofi weighs in at about 20 lbs (9 kg) & Gabi weighs about 21 lbs (9.5 kg). WOW! My kiddos are getting big!

On the news front, the kids have started refusing the spoon. I didn't realize this meant they were ready to self feed. Of course, Ian still needs help BUT Gabi & Sofi go to town w/ the food I cut up for them. So far, we have had waffles, toast, cheese, deli sliced chicken, & of course some of the Gerber Graduates puffs & other finger foods. I need ideas from you moms & dads reading the blog! What can I give my almost 1 yr olds (Oh Lord. Did I just type that?!?!)

Ianchito playing w/ my laptop while he is waiting to get some boobie.


Gabi & Ian playing together. Gabi LOVES rolling around in her blankie!


Sofi decided to chill w/ Daddy!


For those of you following the pumping progress...I am still doing it 4/day. Ian is still BFing 3/day. I told everyone on March 1st I would drop a session. We'll see. I'm not sure yet, depends on if they drop the amount they are taking.

My goofy kids!

Did I ever tell you how goofy my kids are? I mean, seriously! Sometimes I wonder but then realize they ARE a product of Todd & I. Realization hits & then I KNOW why they are so funny!

Here is my boy & 1 of his many crazy faces.


Then we good ol' Gabi. She saw the red light go on & started smiling w/ the cell phone Abuelo brought her. You can really see all of her teeth in this one!


Here is Gabi, happy as can be w/ her bottle!


Little Miss Sofi is having a blast w/ all her soothies & pacis! Yes, she loves them! No, it doesn't bother me.


Talk about a sock obsession! She couldn't put them down to take her bottle!


Gabi is enjoying watching PBS for the 1st time!


Ian has gotten so much better at holding his head up & is really enjoying tummy time again although he still can't crawl. He is also sitting unassisted for longer periods of time. One thing I have noticed is he seems a bit rigid. For instance, he doesn't have any problems picking up his food but releasing it is a different story. He gets really tense. I know this is something we will be able to work on w/ ECI. They are coming back on the 5th of March! Otherwise, he is getting back to normal, including stealing his sissies' soothies directly from their mouth when they are in range. He has also gotten really good at spinning on his tummy & is kicking like crazy trying to move. I think he will be crawling soon enough but will still be behind his sisters. We'll catch him up, no worries!

**Oh, for those following my whole pumping woes, I have not dropped my 4th session as of yet. Yes, I know...I can't let go. One other thing, if you are going to make a comment, please leave a name so I can address you in a response. And, by the way, I do know I have accomplished more than most other women. That isn't the point. I don't compare myself to others. I'll get over it. Eventually.

Mastitis, one last time.

Well, I guess my body has most definitely decided enough. My plan is to be weaned from the pump by the time they turn 1 which is in 5 wks & a few days. Mastitis is no fun. Luckily I caught it before the high fever & the aches. At least I don't have to worry about my right side hurting from being engorged b/c mastitis KILLS the supply.

Uggg...this is me letting go.

My body is ready. I am not.

When will it end? When can I catch a break? Damn, I have been pumping for 10.5 months. Can it not be easy towards the end? Why does it have to be so hard?

My body is ready.

I am not.

My mind was committed to pumping 4/day until March 1st. Why is it that I may have to drop my first session before that? What is the big deal anyway. It is only 10 days early anyway. I am still going to BF the boy at this time so it isn't like it should be a huge deal, right? Not.

Anxiety. Stress. FAILURE.

I know, I am crazy. How can it be failure when I have made it this far? Because. I was planning on going to the 1st of March & dropping a session 10 days before that date is failing to reach it. Because. If I start early, that means I am taking the 1st steps to stopping. I'm not ready but my body is. It is tired. It has done so much in the past 2 years, starting w/ IVF treatments, sustaining 3 growing babies, & then nourishing these babies until their 1st birthday.

You would think that would bring comfort. Maybe tomorrow. Not today. Today it makes me sad.

My kids will still get my milk, just not as much. That should be ok. It WILL be ok.

My pump, my best friend for 200 minutes a day. My time on the computer. My time to watch my kids play. My time to sit down. My time...no longer in that way. It is time.

One month later...

Wow! The 15th was a month since the whole ordeal w/ Ian started. It all began w/ a runny nose. Then the seizure, a hospital stay, back home, loss of motor skills, another hospital stay, & finally a diagnosis. It has also been a month since Todd & I have slept in our own room, on our bed, together. We have been sleeping on a palette in the living room so we are near him but not in the same room. My anxiety level goes through the roof if I stay in there. I'm always up, looking at him, making sure he can breathe (sorry, I am confessing my obsessive tendencies). It is NOT good if you want to sleep.

Last night was a big night b/c Ian has not slept his room w/ his sisters since he has gotten sick. I think Todd was more nervous about him going back upstairs than I was but we both knew we needed to sleep in our bed again & he needed to get back in there w/ his sisters. Luckily, he slept all night long & we got to get a good night's sleep, finally.

Here are some wonderful, cute pics for your enjoyment!

This is Gabi's favorite pose now days...Home Alone anyone?


Sofi LOVES to pull up on the couch. No way to get that soothie out of her mouth either!


Heeeeeee! I'm going to crawl over my brother, don't care if he cares!


Mom, help! She won't get off me.


FINALLY! I've reached the toy!

Pumping Woes

I debated whether I should write about this but the truth of the matter is that there is probably someone out there that will benefit from me talking about my exploding nipple. Yeah, not a good thing. So I am putting aside my pride & forging on w/ the story.

As many of you know, I have been pumping/BFing for my trio since they were born. It is has been a LONG road to get this far. Many, many times I have had to deal w/ sore, cracked nipples. If you have pumped or BFed, you know what I am talking about. I guess I have become numb to the pain or maybe it is the Advil that kicks in after 30 min. I continue to be a glutton for punishment b/c I refuse to "hang up the horns" until the kids have turned 1. Even then, I will have to wean myself from pumping/BFing b/c I am still making over 60 oz of milk a day. Can you imagine going cold turkey?!?

Ok, let me get on w/ the original reason why I am posting about this. On Friday afternoon, I came upstairs to do my usual 2:30pm pumping session & afer about a minute of pumping, I realized all that was in the bottle was blood. Yep, blood...and not a little. About an ounce worth! This isn't the 1st time that I have busted my nipple open & bled out BUT this is the 1st time it didn't stop as soon as I turned the pump off. I bled through a cloth diaper & many, many paper towels besides the amount that went down the sink as I hung over it trying to control the bleeding.

I know, many of you would say "this is it, no more pumping" but I am stubborn. I realized I couldn't pump that side for that session & my anxiety level started to raise b/c I didn't know how I would get the milk out & the fear of engorgement started to hang over my head. Being engorged is no fun. Fortunately, the bleeding stopped & I was able to latch Ian on w/o him causing it to bleed. The crack was on the side, thankfully.

Of course, I started worrying about my last pumping session of the night. What if I wasn't able to? God help me! That meant I would be totally engorged come morning. Not a pleasant feeling & one that normally wakes me up way before 6:45am. I went up to pump at 8:30 & was praying as I climbed the stairs. Would I bleed again? Unfortuately the answer was YES. I started bleeding as profusely as I did earlier. I was not happy. Rather than just have 1 side engorged, I decided to go for ultimate torture & stop pumping the other side. What was the point?!?

I went to bed, sulking. My anxiety level was so high that I couldn't fall asleep for over an hour. Sad but true. What was I going to do if I couldn't pump in the morning? I wasn't ready to give it up! I want my kids to have my milk until they switch to cow milk! I started praying that God would miraculously heal my nipple come morning.

The night passed & I have to say, I slept well. I suppose the night before when Ian woke up to cry for over an hour, had caught up w/ me. I ran upstairs to pump & I started to bleed. I was FREAKING out! Now what? Well, the bleeding stopped. Divine intervention? I had my manual pump & wanted to use it to relieve the pressure. I NEEDED to relieve the pressure! I was very uncomfortable. A little at a time, & w/i 5 minutes, 3 oz had come out. Thank God!

I got brave & hooked myself up to the electric pump (it was already going for the other side) & I held my breath. NO BLOOD! WOOT! I got past it! To be on the safe side, every oz I got, I poured out in to another bottle. I sighed a huge sigh of relief!

Yes, it means that much to me. Yes, I want to hit my goal. Yes, it has been the most challenging aspect of having triplets. Yes, it is worth every ounce of pain & blood I have lost as well as all that extra sleep I could have gotten when the kids were younger. I know I have provided my trio the best possible for the 1st year. I have also saved us quite a bit of money.

I am mommy. I am proud.

First words????

I am rather confused by the whole 1st word situation. I have heard many friends say that their childen have said Mama or Dada & consider it their child's 1st word but I wonder if the baby really *knows* what they are saying. The reason it is confusing is b/c my babies have all been saying Mama for quite some time, especially when they are upset but I'm not sure that they are making the connection. I mean, there are times where they have said Mama & looked at me but I just don't feel that they are truly getting it b/c otherwise they would always look at me & say Mama, right? That seems like the logical way of thinking.

This is an issue b/c Gabi has started saying "bye-bye". I will say it & she will repeat it. Sounds exactly like how I say it & sometimes she will even wave her hand b/c I do too when I say it. I honestly think she is imitating my sounds, not really understanding that bye-bye means that someone is leaving & will come back later. So, do I count it as her 1st word? I just invisioned something else. 2 syllables put together to me doesn't justify a word. Ma-ma, da-da, ba-ba, bye-bye...see what I mean?

Am I crazy? Seriously, am I just being to harsh & already expecting my kids to overachieve? Boy, I feel sorry for them if I am!

Anywho, here is a video of Gabi saying bye-bye. She is so cute when she says it!



Also, I have to update on Ianchito. Our intake w/ Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) is next week. I wish it were assessment day instead b/c then the PT could tell me some new exercises to do w/ him. I do quite a few every day & try to put him in balance compromising positions. He is getting better at rolling over from back to front & front to back & does it w/ purpose, to get a toy. He is also just now starting to spin on his tummy to change the direction he is going in. YAY!

Well, that is it for now!

Neurology Follow Up

So there isn't a whole lot to report. Apparently the neurologists are happy w/ Ian's progress. They stated once again that the diagnosis is "by exclusion" meaning that they couldn't find anything else so they treated it as post-infectious cerebrallitis & the treatment worked thus far. They checked his motor skills & said he was progressing nicely. Recovery can be as short as 2 weeks but is often a bit longer. They do believe he will make a full recovery but there is no 100% guarantee as w/ anything medical. From what I have gathered, the most common lasting effect is w/ balance issues. He is so young that we can't know now whether that is an issue b/c they are developing their balancing capabilities. I have a gut feeling that he will be fine, it will just take a couple of months. His progress from day to day is noticable.

I had to make him look like a tough boy today so I put him in his "Rockstar in Training" shirt along w/ his skull & crossbones Vans. Tooooooo cute!


He was trying to make a mean face in this one to go along w/ the "tough guy" image!

Alfalfa hair!

Ok, I'm not sure if I even spelled alfalfa right but who cares b/c the girls look so dern cute w/ their little pigtail standing straight up! I'm not much of a bow gal, never was so I was worried about when it would come time to put my girls' hair up & whether it would look ok. Their "bangs" have been getting in their eyes for about 2 wks now but w/ everything else that has been happening, I haven't had a chance to dig out the rubber bands & give it a go. I finally had the chance this morning.

I sat Gabi, then Sofi in my lap, bundled their hair together & got the rubber band around it. Here are the results!

Sofi & her pigtail! She was all smiles.


Then she decided maybe a pigtail wasn't all it is cracked up to be.



Gabi & her pigtail w/ a top view so you can see how little is actually in it, LOL!


Gabi is our ham. Can you tell?


Also, I can't leave out an update on Ianchito. He is progressing. He has sat up by himself for about 5-10 seconds at a time which is pretty big since his core strength all but disappeared. He is also grabbing toys w/ both hands albeit not like he use to. He is still having problems sleeping through the night which is more of a problem for Todd & I but we are managing. It is better to have him here & deal w/ that then him in the hospital. He will be going to the neurologist tomorrow so I am sure I will update again as soon as we get back.

Making progress!

Ian is making progress! Let me start out by saying that this time last week he was still a bit jerky & not really able to get his hand to his mouth. Now he is getting it to his mouth (left more than the right b/c the right was splinted w/ the IV while he was in the hossy), grab toys (although not quite as well as before), hold his head up, stay in the jumperoo for about 40 min & roll over from tummy to back & has actually rolled from back to tummy once or twice!

It feels like I am recelebrating all his milestones. Part of me is very sad about that fact. It kills me to think about how active he was a month ago. I miss that little boy so much but I am also very humbled that we have him at home & healthy. It seems like I am experiencing polar opposite feelings, sadness yet extreme joy. I know this is part of parenting.

I don't have any pictures but I do have this video of Ian & Gabi taken on January 13th. They were making each other giggle. This was before he got sick & when I saw it, I started to cry. He doesn't hold himself up as well as he does here but I know he will be at it again. His sisters push him b/c he is always watching what they are doing.

Gabi is army crawling!

With everything that has been happening w/ Ianchito, I have totally forgotten to blog about Gabi army crawling. She started on Saturday & we couldn't be prouder! She is doing really well w/ it & seems to be enjoying the fact that she can move around quite a bit.

Our girls have been really staying close to Ian since he has been home. Here are a couple of pics of them playing w/ him while he is in the jumperoo. I have found this toy to be really good for him to work on his balance. He has already made quite a bit of progress. The 1st day I put him in it, he was really floppy. Now he holds his head up really well & is moving his arms/hands around & playing quite a bit. Slowly but surely!

GOOOO STEELERS!

My hubby's side of the family is from Pittsburg so needless to say, we are Steelers fans. Everyone in the house was excited about the game & Todd wanted to make sure the kids got in on the action & waved ar

Sofi liked waving the towel around, wish I had gotten a better shot of that!


Here is Ian in the bumbo chair w/ the Terrible Towel.


Daddy & Gabi waving the towel together after a touchdown!



A little update on Ian...he is all well in the sense of his health but he still has quite a ways to go before he gains back all the skills he lost. We are literally deals w/ a 10 mth old that has skills of a 3-4 mth old. The difference is that he already knows the concepts so teaching him them over again won't be as hard. He has managed to roll over from his tummy to his back, only once. He is also getting his left hand to his mouth & trying to pick up puffs but is still not coordinated enough. He isn't using his right hand much but that was the side the IV was on & was splinted. We also got a call from the neurologist & the metabolic tests came back normal so we have a very heathly, normal little boy.

Todd is exhausted & ready to come home in this picture. He was a stellar dad & stayed up there 99% of the time. GOOOOO DAD!


This is Ianchito getting his last round of steroids the day he came home.


Ian has qualified for Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) b/c of this so I am hoping to hear from them shortly. A therapist will come out to the house & work on his gross & fine motor skills. I have looked up some exercises to do w/ him & have already started. Please keep our boy in your prayers until he fully recovers!