Coming up for a breath of fresh air!

It's almost been 3 years.
3 years that on some days have felt like 300 years.
On other days have felt like 3 seconds.

It's weird.
I don't even know how to explain it.
I'm not sure there IS a way to explain it.
Unless you are a parent.

Then you understand.
It makes complete sense.

Their first birthday feels like eons ago.
Ian's illness feels like it happened yesterday.
That in itself is a conundrum.
I suppose the more tragic event is the one that scarred us the most.

Beyond all that,
being a triplet mommy means that so much of regular parenthood
has been taken away.

Those that are in the same boat understand.
Those that aren't, can't fathom what I am saying.
(unless you have a child in a special circumstance)

We knew the minute they said triplets that for
at least the 1st 2 years life would be inside our home.
Occasional trips to the store,
especially in spring/summer/fall.

Back to lockdown during RSV/Flu Season.
We decided to do the lockdown this past season.
For our own peace of mind.
And now the fog is lifting.

This is the 1st time we are starting to feel like a "normal" family.
Taking the kids out is much easier than before.
They walk to the car, climb in, & get ready for buckling.
They can sit in a restaurant w/o boosters & behave themselves,
for about an hour max & then we head out.
We can go in to someone's home w/o them destroying it.
Walking on the sidewalk, around the corner,
with no stroller is easy.
Sitting through a whole movie like Toy Story,
a reality.
We can actually leave w/o the kids freaking out.
They are more tolerable to schedule changes.
Or should I say that WE handle the schedule changes better.
Staying up late on occasion, a reality,
not something we freak out about b/c the kids will be in hellacious moods the following day.
Walking in to the grocery store, no carts or strollers,
another reality.

The list could go on forever.
It's like the fog has lifted.

We are even considering gymnastics.
And did I mention we are 2/3 out of diapers?
The hubs & I can actually spend quality time together & enjoy it.
This is really like a new beginning.

I have seen it coming over the horizon for the past 6 months.
It seems like these last 2 months have really solidified the changes.
The freedom.

The feeling that we are very much like every other family
on the block that doesn't have multiples.
It really is an amazing feeling.

There are so many changes coming up.
The kids only have another year here at home w/ me.
Then it is off to official preschool.
I know I will cry.

I cry now thinking about it.
And I thought I would never be that mom.
I.am.that.mom.

Last night I sat in their rooms,
touching their faces & bawling my eyes out.
Visions of babies born around 4 lbs each dancing in my head.
Of how much they have grown.
But how much their personalities are the same
as they were when they were growing in my belly.

Life is amazingly different.
All for the better.
All for them.

And, I'll add that I am amazed at the strength of my marriage.
It has been tested time & time again.
Somehow we always come up for a breath, together.

I thank God every day for my life.
My 3 beautiful children, my wonderful husband & my family.