Here I was, so happy & proud of the progress Ian has made & then we get a whammy. Thankfully, it isn't anything really bad but it still sucks to have to deal with this. Ian's PT came by on Friday & pretty much immediately said that she thought Ian would greatly benefit if we put him in some braces for his ankles. Now, if you have been following for a while, you know that we had a diagnostician come in & say he didn't need them so this was a total surprise to me. I thought we were in the clear (or maybe I didn't but Friday wasn't a good day to tell me anyway).
See, the kids didn't nap well on Friday. It started w/ Gabi & ended up w/ all 3. They were up way too early from their nap & C.R.A.N.K.Y. as all get out. Like to the point where I was *trying* to hold all 3 at the same time. Then the PT comes & let's just say the girls were very demanding. We actually didn't get much done at all b/c the girls would get all in the mix. Normally they are pretty good at giving the PT & Ian space to work together but not Friday. Fu-get-about-it!
This all got me kind of sad. Although I know & have experienced much worse things in the kids short lives, it still hurts my heart that we have to deal w/ yet another obstacle. And let's just be really honest while we are at it. What parent wants their kid in leg braces? I think...uh, none. And since I confessed that, I may as well confess that I feel like it is MY fault he has to wear braces.
Why? Because I cannot get all the exercises done w/ him that need to get done. 3 kids that may as well be monkeys is the key issue here. I get on the floor & all the sudden they come at me from 3 different directions. AND...they start to push each other in attempts to be the ONLY one to be in my lap, in my arms or just plain touching me. It is a bit chaotic & rather than fight it, we just don't do all the exercises.
With all that said, I still think Ian has come a long way and as much as I rather him not have braces on his legs, I want what is best for my boy so I will swallow my pride & realize that part of my sadness comes from a very shallow place. If wearing braces will get Ian to reach his sisters' capabilities in 6 months rather than 2 years w/o braces, then so be it. Besides, the PT said they had really cute patterns for the socks so at least he will have some fun stuff going on around his ankles.
So, ankle braces it is.
Now for some cute pics!
All 3 kids sitting on the armchair together while Sofi is reading them a book. They were laughing hysterically! I suppose she is a good storyteller. Hell, I couldn't understand a word but apparently it was FUNNY.
Ian must think he is smaller than what he really is.
Sofi is in to carrying things. I guess it may be time to get her a purse?!?
This is what happens when we eat Papap's meatballs w/ Grandma Donna's sauce. You can tell the level of enjoyment each had by the amount of red sauce on their face.
12 comments:
First off, no shame and definitely NO GUILT in those ankle braces. What you said was absolutely correct...better with braces and being at par in 6 months than no braces and getting even further behind. Just remember that not too far down the road from now, you'll be grateful for the help those braces will have given Ian and will be able to laugh at your reluctance now. You CAN NOT blame yourself. Things happen for a reason and every bad will be turned to good eventually. This whole experience with Ian might also be God's way of showing you a lesson of sorts. In bible class today we were talking about finding joy in humility instead our pride. We must be broken so that we can be lifted up. So just pray and let go!
Oh, and secondly...the sauce pics are freakin' hilarious!!! Everyone's eyes are closed! Love it!
haha, they're corrected age is right around the same age Marcus was when he went through his "closing the eyes as soon as they see the camera" faze, lol!!
Oh Astrid, I agree fully with Andrea - no guilt!! Ian and Danny seem to be in exactly the same spot, for different reasons, with walking. He started about a month ago, I had huge hopes that would mean no braces...and we are sitting here just having been told that we should still be expecting them. (We'll be doing an IFSP review and authorization in a month and tackle it then.) I agree, there is no parent who wants them, and it is so hard to swallow. Many hugs to you, and only pride allowed in the things you have accomplished, and the things you yet will with your gorgeous children.
Ok, so you have no clue who I am... but I found your site through surfing some blogs! I love looking at other moms of multiples and learning as much as I can! We have 15 mos trips (GBB)
Keri Rash :)
BTW heres our site if you get a chance to check it out!
www.kevinrash.blogspot.com
Keri
We're dealing with the same thing with Lola. She is double jointed and very flexible to boot, so her poor ankles just cave when she tries to stand, so yeah, looks like Ian won't be the only one in braces. :) It's really not that big of a deal and in no way is it your fault!! And yes, they have really cute designs!! They'll be walkin' in style!!!!
Good luck!!
Nina (JM)
Don't blame yourself!! Your doing the best you can, and that's all you can do. We're only human!
I'll echo other comments and say that you shouldn't feel any guilt.
However, I'll also reflect on my own experience, and say that owning that feeling of guilt is actually a step forward. Eventually, it will go away, or at least recede to a dull throb.
I haven't had your experience, by any means, but I think that my emotions as a mother towards my daughter's amblyopia and chewing/swallowing problems were similar. Melody needed to wear an eye patch for the amblyopia, and went through feeding therapy for the other. Her twin didn't need any such "help", and part of me felt that I'd failed Melody. Now that both therapies are over and Melody is seeing and chewing with the best of them, I feel proud and relieved that I dealt with the problems as early as I did. I might not have noticed, and let the issues go unaddressed for much longer, which would have been worse.
i've put off saying anything to you about this, but i guess i will now: guilt comes with parenting and you can't get around it, but in this case remember:you could have worked with him an hour a day, every day--or more. and he might still need braces. these are just to help strengthen his legs. are you going to feel guilty if they need glasses? what if they have cavities? you can't shield your children from every possible problem in life. and while i'm at it: since when is wearing leg braces a problem? why is this a bad thing? consider all the mommies in america that watch their school-age kids struggle with walking because they couldn't afford health insurance and never got braces? now we're talking guilty. please let this go and focus on the crazy current of blessings that overtake you everyday--including braces for ian. thank god for them. surely you have something better to feel guilty about? if not, call me, i've got a laundry list--you can have one of my guilts. i need a break anyway!
Hey momma,
I am not sure I've commented before, but I also had two of mine who needed theray and tons of exercises. And like you all three wanted to be in my lap and it would get so frustrating. But here comes the good news. Make a game out of it. I got mats in my girls colors from walmart. I taught the kiddos to sit on the mats. Once we got them to stay on the mats, we did exercise fun. I did it on all three, not just one. It worked great (most days. You know how triplets are!). Mine had sensory issues, and I would just do each on in turn. If Ian has some that aren't going to work with the girls, then just doing something else so they will get a turn.
Best of luck and don't worry about the guilt. Its completely normal, and before you know it, you'll be signning off of the closure papers. I just did with my girls at three! It was the best thing EVER!
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