Thursday, April 16, 2009

Slowly drying up :(

Ah, the pumping days are numbered. Yes, I am thankful to have more time on my hands but then I have to contend w/ the idea that my girls will no longer be getting fresh milk from mommy & while that doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, it kind of is. I was chatting w/ a friend about it & explaining that it would be easier if I knew this wasn't the last time I would be experiencing this but reality is that this is it. As much as having another baby would be great, I know it won't happen. We are pretty much done unless God decides differently.

This is why it is hard. Pumping gave me another purpose that w/ as much as I went through, the mastitis, clogged ducts, etc., I knew my kids were getting an INVALUABLE resource from Mommy that no one else could give them. Yes, there will be new things to replace that time & be even more special, eventually. For now, my heart hurts a little.

I'm down to 20 minutes in the morning which is only yielding about 3 oz of milk & 10 minutes right before bedtime. Tonight I am only going to pump 5 minutes & by Saturday night, will not pump before bed. I can't count how many times I would finish w/ dinner & wish that I could just go to bed. Well, I'm right there. It is going to happen but part of me is going to miss that quiet time I had to do my computer stuff & be ALONE. It was my "me" time. My down time.

As well as stopping pumping, I am weaning Ian down to twice a day. We are at 3/day. I'm going to let him self-wean. No need to rush b/c this is it. I will never breastfeed another baby....WAAAAAAAA! Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be "that mom". You know the one that is still nursing their kid past the age of one. Who would have thought? And, for the record, my heart does ache that I do not have this continued bond w/ my girls. I wish they wouldn't have weaned so early but they did. I cried for a month when they stopped. It hurt b/c it was our snuggle time. Don't worry, we have plenty of opportunities to snuggle now.

My special role will continue and like many other things in life, I am ending 1 chapter to move on to the next.

4 comments:

Asher & Noah's Mommy said...

(((HUGS))) You've done such an awesome job!! Who woulda thought someone could BF TRIPLETS!!! You do realize that you are super woman, right? You are amazing, and your THREE precious babies are so lucky to have you and Todd for parents! I'm sorry you're sad, but like you said, you have so many more opportunities to experience new things with them and bond with them in new ways, and you get to experience everything TIMES 3!!!!! =)

Family of 5 said...

Astrid, I admire you for nursing your beautiful trips for this long! You are amazing! *hugs*

Lori said...

You have done an awesome job. I quit after 6-8 weeks and am so jealous you got to experience that breastfeeding bond with your kids. I think my DS would have been like your Ian if I hadn't been so darn tired and gave it up.

Just because you aren't pumping doesn't mean you have to give up your computer "me" time after the kids go to bed. What do you think I am doing right now? Most of the triplet moms I know live for "me" time after the kids go to bed.

Delekatala said...

You did awesome! I only managed to exclusively pump for three months, and never did a great job. I got maybe two ounces the most per pumping. My twins could not latch, they were in the nicu. Pumping is so much harder than people realize, You go girl!